1970

One day, God looked down on us all and despaired. He saw people in large gangs attacking other people in different large gangs, mostly in His name and for no other reason – or for reasons so old that they had become hopelessly forgotten. Even God couldn’t work out why these people were doing it, or what they got out of it, or what they expected Him to think of those who fought others like this for his glory. Frankly, he wasn’t interested.

So God gave us all up and left. Off he went and focused on some other, more fruitful part of His universe and left us to our own devices. But far from abandoning us, he gave us a far greater gift that only a truly loving God could give. As he left us he made it so that every Bábist, Bahá'í, Christian, Gnostic, Moslem, Jew, Samaritan, Ajivika, Ayyavazhi, Buddhist, Hindu, Jainist, Sikh, Caodaist, Chondogyo, Confucian, Shinto, Taoist, Yiguandao, Atenist, Manichaeist, Mithraist, Orphist, Yazdânist, Zoroastrianist, Ásatrú, Heathen, Odinist, Theodist, Wotan, Pagan, Dievturiba, Kemetic polytheist, Romuva, Stregheria, Bwiti, Cao Dai, Huna, Konkokyo, Manichaeist, Modekngei, Santo Daime and Tenrikyo woke up the next day and knew in all certainty and understanding that everything they had once believed was utter and complete nonsense.

All of a sudden

the fighting stopped

and God saw it was good.