Paul Famousperson and I are smoking grass in my apartment. I feel sort of strange, like I shouldn't really be here.
- If I were famous like you then I would buy my girlfriend lots of nice little things to keep her happy, I say to Paul. - I really want to make her happy.
- You never do, says Paul. - I tried it once on my girl too and she ended up wanting more and more until I gave up completely. In the end it finished us both.
I thanked Paul and left. He hid the roach in his sock.
I went over to her apartment and said hello to my girlfriend. She asked me where the groceries were. Where was the meat, the vegetables, the aspic? She told me I was useless.
I got fed up and left. I went into the bedroom and lay on the bed. My girl came up later and apologised. I told her straight.
- The famous might appear to be complete toolbags most of the time, but sometimes they might say something smart.
She kissed me and she made a meal of the little stores we had. However, she burnt it all. I went out for a walk. I came back and she was gone. I cried. Then she appeared from behind the piano.
- Fooled you, she said.
I agreed that she had.