The vigilantes are out in force again today. They protect us against the growing number of a self-styled group called 'The Black Bastards'. They pillage and rape and terrorise and steal and do really terrible things. They beat up their women, eat their children, have sex with goats and have things living in their hair. And they smell bad.
The vigilantes are having a gun battle with them in the main street. The Black Bastards are winning easily. They have got big guns, grenades, rockets and stuff like that. The vigilantes are being blown to pieces.
One of them reaches for a radiophone. He says he knows someone who will help them. He had only just put the receiver down after speaking into it when Superman arrives on the scene and sends Red Beams from Space which makes the Black Bastards evaporate. Then he flies over their homes and spreads radiation that will kill all the others remaining - the women, children, cripples and idiots.
He returns to the vigilantes who by this time are screaming in a near-religious ecstasy. Superman takes no notice of their praise and napalms them. Batman and Captain America come out and start to nuke the people's houses. Thor swings his hammer about and smashes the ground up.
After it is all over they return to their homes but are devastated to find that they have all been smashed up. As they sit on the ground trying to figure out what to do, the ghosts of Marilyn Monroe, Lenny Bruce, James Dean and Montgomery Clift walk by, not even aware of their presence.
All of this really happened. The undersigned saw it all.
| Y. Zamyatin | Alice B. Toklas | Mary Franklin |
| P. Ernst | Yuri Panov | Michael Dickson |
| Ezra Pound | Tom Swan | Maurice Gerard |